operameister:

thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble:

agentgreenfishy:

poselikeateam:

fuck-i-just:

Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”

Why does this not have any notes?

lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”

“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”

“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”

ant0rm:

amazinqtipsss:

w0kutiner:

simplebeautyttips:

ant0rm:

simplebeautyttips:

Real easy to get fantastic abs - some simple tips, exercises and do/donts

omg it works

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so funny

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no but seriously great tips!! now i know what i’ve been doing wrong!

check #4 and #8, they realy helped me

#3 and #13 are really effective !! try them and you should notice progress in less than 2 weeks!

kingcitywitch:

inlikewithlife:

chaotic-awesome:

I Don’t Know How Much Vodka I Put In This But I’m Going To Drink It Anyways: a memoir

This drink tastes awful, but I can’t waste alcohol: a sequel

I’m going to get a bigger glass and add more mixer and have way too much to drink: The Thrilling Conclusion

plays